Five Games That Can Get You a Girlfriend
A recent study proved what we always knew: gamers are more active socially, they know how to have fun and they’re more likely to get married. But since people outside the gaming phenomena would find that hard to believe, I am here to prove them once again that games have the capability of bringing you some sweet loving girls aka a girlfriend!
I’ve made a list of five games so don’t panic! The planets in our solar system were moving backwards and uncle Blizzard was getting drunk with cousin Linden and simply forgot about you – that’s why you don’t have a girl. FOR NOW. Because things are about to change.
Second Life
So, the first place that can get you a girl to marry is cousin Linden’s game – Second Life. It’s the closest thing you can get from virtual reality nowadays and, even though there’s no real touching or groping indeed, you have a full universe of girls waiting to meet Mr. Perfect and get charmed by his recently unlocked haircut and cowboy hat. You should still be careful: even though Second Life is a sure hit when it comes to girls you can hit with Cupid’s arrows, just check twice before taking the whole thing into the real life: you wouldn’t like to be surprised with that sexy neko girl you meet on Playboy’s island which is actually a fat sweaty dude with Tabasco sauce rotting in his goatee. Better be safe than sorry!
World of Warcraft
If virtual reality ain’t your thing, say good-bye to cousin Linden and go to uncle Blizzard which offers you over ten million chances to find your soulmate. Indeed, the number of females is much lower, but I still believe it’s somewhere over two million, so you’ve got a fair chance for a dream lady. Just be extra careful if you choose to find your soulmate in World of Warcraft: make sure she did not date your guild leader before, make sure she will not accept your flirting just to get that The 2 Ring from you and, for God’s sake, just make sure she has no Tauren relatives!
Uno
The biggest problem with Second Life and WoW is that you risk a bit: no matter how much you love the soul, you might not like the package and, as superficial as it might sound, this could mean wasted energy, experience points and no à la Witcher cards for you. So the best thing to do would be to start your Xbox 360 and go play… Uno! Yes, as strange as that might sound, Uno for XBLA could bring you a wife. Probably one of the most played XBLA games by chicks, Uno also supports the Xbox Live Vision cameras and it is known as one of the… let’s say hottest games on Xbox Live. Just one thing you should be REALLY careful about: the girl HAS to be over 18, OK? Let’s just keep it legal and clean, for God’s sake!
Dogz / Catz / Horsez / Whateverz
This one’s a bit more tricky than the others but we’re gamers and we love some challenge, right? So, here’s the deal: you get any of Ubisoft’s games in the Petz series, start your Nintendo DS and go in a park and start playing. Remember the old times when dudes used to pick up chicks by talking a dog for a walk? That’s so eighties! Now you grab your DS and start playing – girls will soon surround you and you’ll hear every three minutes “that’s so sweet!” from them. You get your chance to pick the one you want and she’ll always know that you have a kind heart. Oh, just one more thing: be sure you don’t have an allergy to animals, since she’ll most likely wish two catz, three dogz and two hamsterz. REAL ones!
The Sims 2
Finally, the game that just can’t miss such a topic. It’s obvious that The Sims 2 can get you a girl: you just have to learn simlish, tell her a few jokes, talk about astronomy, play red hands then throw a party, grab some IKEA beds and you’re all set. She’ll instantly allow you to kiss her on the roof, cuddle in the garden and eventually woo her in the bathroom (yeah, you just wasted money on the IKEA beds!). Oh, there’s just one little problem with getting a girlfriend like this: she’s not real, dude! So you’d better grab the controller and start playing some Metal Gear!




















games can’t give you girls stupid lol
@Ano: You must’ve been playing the wrong type of games, then…
don’t forget LBP!
and mario kart
@adam: They’re coming in our next feature, ” Five Games That Can Get You Married” ;)
Epic stereotyping.
In the meantime, I’ll carry on playing Gears of War and Guitar Hero with my boyfriend. When I’m done with Dead Space, of course.
Games that can make you score gays, GHalo, Queers of war, if you don’t believe me ask, Cliff Bleflensky he is a homo.