Breaking: Game Pirates Preparing to Legally Win the Console Wars
In an incredible twist of events, a few hardware pirating groups have decided to join forces and start a legal, console manufacturing company which, according to them, will actually win the console wars since it will deliver functional and dirt cheap consoles, just perfect for the economic downturn we’re all going through. Even more, it appears that Xbox 360, PS3 and even Wii consoles will become obsolete or, at most, a sweet memory thanks to this new piece of hardware.
Speaking with Unigamesity, the founder of the company, a former game pirate turned into a law-abiding citizen – who prefers to remain anonymous at the moment, said: “We have decided it’s time to move on. We’re not risking our freedom anymore for a couple of lousy grands a day. We’re going big, we [the pirates] have teamed up already and we’re going to rock the console world with a piece of hardware that will top the console sales in less than one year. And it will be 100% legal.”
According to the group of pirates who started this company, they will win the console wars since they already know how to create working consoles (they do have the experience, after all) at low prices, using crappy pieces of junk. The good news is that the new console (codenamed Buccaneer) will cost at most $50. Now that’s a bargain!
“The Buccaneer will run all games on the market,” said the company’s CEO. “We don’t need first party developers, that only costs more money and we don’t want to spend, but to gain. Our console will be better than the competition simply because it will be able to run Xbox 360, PS3, Wii and even PC games, without additional software or hardware. We are really that skilled – the years of falsifying products will finally pay off”
We haven’t seen the Buccaneer in action yet, but it does sound incredibly sweet to have one that can run all games for all actual consoles, right? At least the fanboys’ war will be over. However, a problem remains: the games will cost more than the console itself and that could probably make the game pirates get back into the “dark” business, in order to gain even more profit.
“We are 100% clean. We’re going legal now, we won’t pirate hardware, nor software anymore,” assures us the company’s CEO.
What’s your take on this: will you give the Buccaneer a try or stick with the current, big name consoles? And, even more – should they be afraid of piracy?
UPDATE: Yes, folks, just as you have imagined – nothing is real in this news. Happy April 1st!